Musings of a Wandering Raccoon

Forty-Two Days

2007-06-05T17:00:00.000+10:00

We met under the strangest of circumstances
Our love was to be for-ever.
But sadly, the first time (and I'm sorry for this)
I faltered, and then we were never.

Six moons passed, and we drifted apart
I found myself dreaming again -
Delirious was the word I had used, when I
Wrote you a letter, straight from my pen.

I sent it to you, five times at least
I needed to talk to you, woman or beast
I sat at my post nearly every day
And waited for your reply.

We spoke - once, twice, three times and still
You refused to forgive, to forget
And still as I sighed, for yourself you cried
There was only one for you, I bet.

And we were together in Feb'ry this year
But alas, it was never to be
I wrote you a song, a beautiful lullaby
To send you, my world, to sleep.

And yes, I now know that it went like it did
For a reason, to say "we were only just kids"
And but six se'nnights you had 'till eighteen
And no more will I hear your reply.

Just forty-two days - until you were free
Just forty-two days, and we could have been free.

Triptych

2007-05-29T17:53:00.000+10:00

A Love that Knows no Bounds

As I lay here in the night

Thinking of you and only you

I open my blind, gaze lightly up

Wondering if you’re doing it too

~who knows? for all i know you could be.

I sadly smile and draw the blind

Separating dreams and life

I close my eyes and fall to sleep

Dreaming of future life with you

~and still i feel you with me, holding me tight.

And when that happy day arrives

When we’ll be eternal – forever

I fall into your arms and snuggle tight

Glad in the knowledge that we’re together

~and as i close my eyes again, i feel safe and snug in your arms.

~do you feel as happy as i do?

Winter in the Woods

Falling, falling snow-

Dripping down the windowsill-

A warm fire and a warm body-

Falling, falling snow.

Falling, falling snow-

Covering our tracks-

We begin again-

Falling, falling snow.

Falling, falling snow-

Keeping us together-

Melting with the heat-

Falling, falling snow.

The Final Step of One Life, The First Step of Another

A question for you: Will you love me forever?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Will you keep me warm?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Will you hold me?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Will you give a key to the one you love?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Then, will you take mine?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Will you keep it safe and never give it away?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: And will you help me when I need it?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Why? Why will you do it?

An answer for you: Because I love you.

A question for you: Will you love me forever?

An answer for you: Of course.

A question for you: Will you play games with me forever?

An answer for you: Not this one.

A question for you: Why?

An answer for you: Because I’d much rather be doing this.

~and so, the two moved on, toward better things and more blissful goals.

Yes! I've started writing again! And now I have a way to blog aswell, so that's good. Expect to hear much more from me in the future! ^_^ Keep wandering! Saka-chan out, as usual. :p

Opposite Seasons - Our Season

2007-04-03T20:23:00.000+10:00

Life is short, they said.
. . . It's short.
. . . . . . Short.
What is short?
It's life, short is life, life is short.
To sleep; to sleep would be the final step
To dream; to dream would be impossible.

-Heaven awaits.

But perhaps -
A glimmer, a shining jewel
. . . A powerful thing?
. . . . . . Power.
Our power, when does it arise, our power?
When we need it most - our power alone.
To live; to live would be the greatest joy
To love; to love would be sublime.

-And heaven can wait.

And still -
We curl ourselves around each other
Clinging to what we know -
To last; to last would be our future,
To die; to die will come much later.

-And heaven awaits the wilful few,
waiting for their will to cease.

The Horror of Losing One's Life, One's Eternal Soul

2007-04-03T20:20:00.001+10:00

To break the boundaries of human thought
To 'scape the bonds and traps of normal life
To dream of being cat and fox and 'coon
To live forever more, and to survive.

The fear of losing someone whom you love
The fear of waking up, ne'ermore to see
The fear of knowing one of us will die
The fear of knowing that I'll ne'er be free.

Accepting red and black to be the norm
Accepting, silent, faithful and distraught
Resigning unto death - the final plea
Resigning to our fates, who leave us nought.

The silence of our tightly-huddled love
The crashing of our fireworks high above.

On Lullabies.

2007-03-28T22:00:00.000+10:00

I wrote this for my beloved a few days ago, and thought it wouldn't do any harm being put up here:

Sleep, sleep, the one that I adore,
Sleep, sleep, my love for ever more,
Dream, dream, of clouds and open doors,
Wake next to me and take my paw,
Just sleep well, my heart is always yours.

That's the first verse. I think she's worth creating another two verses at least, so expect them (and the .mp3) to be up soon! ^^

Saka-chan's finished for the day, and going on another night journey. (Oh god, journeys - I have to study them next year.) So, keep wandering, y'all. Don't be strangers now.

Titled.

2007-03-28T21:54:00.000+10:00

Always one trying to be different,
Trying to break the mold,
His soul has not been sold
to those people who never look up,
Those people who sit, dead and cold.

He cannot escape their black methods,
They who blast metal
From tweeters (which don't settle)
He cannot entice them back to the light,
They worship the wilted black petal.

A Remington lies on the doorstep,
It's been tossed aside,
"Damn electrics!" he cried,
The shop has been restocked with Gillettes,
And with them he cleanses his pride.

And this all the product of failed romance -
Some kind of exclusion,
He's seeking inclusion,
And so to fit in, he cleans his sink every day;
And so he has come to this conclusion.

A racy kind of splattered ink -
His experiment failed
He sees his life before him :

(I regret...

After reading this, you might think, "Wow. Another emo." I cannot stress enough how untrue that is. It's an ironic poem (using tragic irony I guess) I wrote for school... Anyway, I should have some better stuff soon.

Partition

2007-03-28T21:50:00.000+10:00

September, June
Life, Death
Dark, Light
Warmth, Cold
Enjoyable, Hated

And so on, and so forth, until...

Controversy, Peace
Romance, Horror
Excellence, Normality
Intelligent, Popular

And then, he finally found it.

Love.
Tears.

I wrote this last night. I'm not quite sure of the meaning of it, but anyway. I'll post more soon. Basically from now, my poems are going to be filler for my life, until something REALLY interesting happens. (And no, I haven't forgotten about you.)

So, wish me luck!

A View Through A Wall

2007-03-27T18:38:00.000+10:00

A sentimental house
Across the road, a feel of shadow
Sinister flowers of blue and mauve
in a field, but the house stands
Alone.

Smoke billows forth from a
tight metal mouth,
A road of dirt, leading
to who knows where?

A seemly-empty house
Stealing softly into the night,
The sounds of a foreign music band
waft through a smal window.

A peaceful journey, laughter from
a car, a coin is
flipped ------
(please, please)
spin ---------
(oh, please let it be-)
spin ---------
(come on, I need this)
spin --------
(yes, go, go, come on -)
spin ----- and lands on the cold
and warm ground . . .
Tails - or was it heads?
(or something else?)

A deft-handed companion
Curled up with red fur by the fire, cold,
cold, cold, and then warm as ------
(how much time has passed?)
"Good night."
"Sweet dreams."
Click.

A poem written by me, dedicated to my sweet love. Again, thought you guys might like it. I'll post an ironic poem tomorrow.
Keep wandering. Watashi out.

On Coding

2007-03-21T19:24:00.000+11:00

For those of you who know what this is, it's right here:

FPRm4arsw A-- C- D-- H++ M- P+ R++ T++ W Z- Sm++ RL- a- cmn+++ d++ e- f++ h* iwf++ j++ p+ sm-

For those of you who don't know what it is, then don't worry about it. ^^

A short one today, just getting the Code out there. Happy days!

Keep wandering! Saka-chan's off on another trek.

On Letters (again) and Death

2007-03-08T21:32:00.000+11:00

Okay. Something really shattering happened during these last couple of days. There was, as many of you would know, a plane crash in Indonesia, which happened to be connected to the boarding house.
How, you may ask?
Well, basically, two of the passengers on that plane were related to two of the boarders over here, so most people in the boarding house have been checking the news non-stop for any news of their survival.
However, it turns out that both of the parents died, and it means that the house has to cling together even stronger than before, to fight the evil in the world.
Of course, by "evil" I'm not referring to terrorism, as that wasn't the problem, but the evil of karma and death-before-time.

But, that's probably a different matter for a different post.
I'm wasting away waiting for Ado-chan's letter. I'm starting to lose my faith in the Malay air-mail system ^_^;; but yeah, I'll be a lot happier than I am now when it comes. Wish everything luck.
Even your worst enemy. They deserve it in this day and age.

And, above all, keep wandering. Saka-chan out.

On Letters and Smoking

2007-03-05T18:17:00.001+11:00

Okay. There is an entertaining matter here, and a matter I care deeply about. Not to say I don't care about Ado-chan's letter, however, that is almost trivial compared to how I feel about smoking.

Of course I don't smoke. I think the taste is abhorrent. Also, it annoys me when my friends come into my room at night smelling of smoke. I don't want that kind of smell in my room, and of course if I ask someone to go clean themselves up I mean clean up!

One example: Last night a friend came into my room at midnight expecting an amazing debate (we had had one the previous night on the meaning of life) and he smelled of cigarettes. What did I do?

"Please leave. No excuse. Leave."

He left, came back, and he still smelled like smoke. What had happened was he didn't change his shirt. How the smoke can infiltrate clothing is a mystery to me, but still, he came back.

"Get out. I told you. I'm going to sleep."

That was it. No more on the matter.

And on the other hand, I have a letter arriving from Malaysia soon. I've been so nervous that it won't get here, and so nervous that I won't know what to write after all. But, providing all goes well, I'll be content. ^^

So, keep wandering - I'm back on the scene.

powered by performancing firefox

On Messiaen... Again.

2007-03-01T21:41:00.001+11:00

So what's the deal this time, you might ask? My music teacher/friend (whom I won't name for security reasons) lent me the ENTIRE collection of Olivier Messiaen's organ music.

SIX CD'S!!!

That's over 7 hours of music, played on the NOTRE-DAME organ!!! So, I've put it all on my iPod. (The earphones were the only things that failed from yesterday's storm.)

Do I really need to say it? Messiaen is my idol. ^^

I'm making a vow right now to get to the organ at Sainte-Trinité or Notre-Dame and play some of my Messiaen pieces that I know.

Anyway, keep wandering, and see you soon!

On Getting Wet

2007-02-28T21:04:00.001+11:00

There's a certain feeling that happens when you walk back from the shops in the pelting rain. It's called "euphoria" I believe. However...

This isn't the feeling you get when you're walking back from the shops in the pelting rain with a phone in one pocket and an iPod in the other... -__-;;

Yes, I know, having these things makes me capitalist, but they're necessities in everyday life. Anyway. That was today. It's the third major thunderstorm in a week. The streets looked like a winter Seattle. It was very, very weird.

What else? Nothing, really. ^^ Keep wandering!

On Thunderstorms and Happiness

2007-02-22T19:02:00.000+11:00

Okay guys. It's been a while since my last post, but here you go.

Last night there was a huge thunderstorm - it started up and then before we knew it, the roads going through the school were completely flooded. So, we decided to make the most of the wet weather.

We went down to one of our ovals, which happens to have a huge hill on the side. This was, of course, running down with water, and a smart year 12 decided to get his body board and, after some distance of run-up, throw himself down it on top of the board. We all soon joined in, and I have to say, it was amazing.

There hasn't been a storm like that in two years... hopefully we can get another one tonight.

Anyway, "On happiness?" you may be asking. Well, firstly, I hadn't had so much fun or laughed so really and eagerly in nearly 10 years.

And secondly, I wrote a letter to Casu... The kittyfox I may have mentioned.. "Catsune", she likes to be called. It's hopefully going to go well. ^^

Keep wandering!

A Poem for Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T21:31:00.000+11:00

Your hair, your eyes, your face, your smile
You stand stock still, yet all the while
Your shining face looks down on me
And still, I look and laugh with glee

I look and laugh because of you
In knowing that with you, we’re two
And sitting next to you I see
The inner beauty of you and me

In fact, be calm and warm and still
We’ll cuddle up by your window sill
And watch the glittering snowflakes fall
And then at last we’ll hear the call

To set off on our life’s long trial
And all the way, I’ll watch your smile
To keep you until life we leave –

And then, we’ll be happy.

It's a poem I wrote today. Thought you guys might like it.

Good luck to us all.

MMVII Encore Concert - HSC MUSIC

2007-02-12T22:22:00.000+11:00

Okay. First off, I would just like to say thanks to the Canberra Grammar School Music Dept. for offering me the incredible chance to go to this amazing experience at the Sydney Opera House. We got there early, and went in. The place was packed, and as we entered, a few guys up the back were starting "THE CLAP" and "THE MEXICAN WAVE". :p

The afternoon started off with a recording of a composition by David Evans entitled "Happy Happy Fun Fun", set to an amazing light-show. The next piece (which was what enraptured me for the whole thing) was a piece played by Paul Pang, entitled "Moments of Plastic Jubilation", composed by Matthew Hindson. I want to learn this piece ^_^;;

Here's a YouTube recording of Paul practicing :p

The rest of the afternoon was pretty good, a few nice singers and jazz saxophonists, excellent compositions, and then the finale - Shostakovich, played by two exceptional pianists, which was absolutely amazing ^_^

Anyway, sorry I've been away so long. Hope the video makes up for it. ^_^

I'll be on MSN, so make sure to keep in touch!

And again, keep wandering. :3

On Apologies and Myself

2006-11-19T10:19:00.000+11:00

Well, it's definitely been a while. Too long, in fact. I need to post more often, but there's not much point if nobody reads my blog. -___-;;

However, I am willing to tell the general public about the experience I have had during my travels as a vampire raccoon host. "What is he on about?" you may wonder. Well, basically, I am a very creative and imaginative fur, so therefore if I see an anime or read a book with a topic that I enjoy, I'll want to accept that topic as my own. Thus, reading a book called "The Nymphos of Rocky Flats", and watching an anime called "Karin", in which the main characters are both vampires, didn't help my sanity much.

And what is a "host"? Well, basically they're a guy that spends a lot of time (and money -__-) on making his "clients" feel good about themselves. Most of us are bishies, I aim to become one in the not-too-distant future, but maybe I'll just have to settle for the rugged look.. "Ouran High School Host Club" for those who want to watch it.

Anyway, I'll be off. Lots of wandering to do, and more experiences to have. Ja!

On Referrals

2006-11-07T08:36:00.000+11:00

Just a short one today, guys.

My trusted forum, OtakuSiris.com, is holding a referral contest. So, I'm imporing all of you who read this to join the forum (just click the banner on the left.)

Then, you should post in the Personal forum, just start a new topic, and tell us about yourself! And, make sure you tell 'em Sakako sent ya!

Anyway, a shameless plug, for an exceptional website.

Keep wandering!

On Alternate Blogs, Not Writing and Olivier Messiaen

2006-11-03T18:00:00.000+11:00

Hey all!

It's been a while, hasn't it? I've been busy lately, what with exams and such, but you know there's always going to be my soul. It's got everything I need to write in it, so you know when you read the Raccoon's blog, you're getting quality stuff, every time.

That said, I've also been writing for my school's blog, so I have been the butt of many a joke, however it's quite interesting to see different people's take on school events. I'm thinking of turning it into a photo blog... Perhaps it will work, perhaps not.

Olivier Messiaen... Composer of the 20th century. His stuff is absolutely amazing. I've started playing some of his pieces, notably Le banquet céleste [The Celestial Banquet], a very slow and harmonically interesting piece, L'Ascension [The Ascension], a series of four movements built around the Ascension of Christ, and Apparition de l'église éternelle [A vision of the eternal church], another slow but intensely moving piece designed to be a glimpse into heaven. And it definitely sounds like it. Messiaen. What a great guy.

Anyway, find those pieces, and keep wandering!

On Starting School, Formal Arrangements and Fanfiction

2006-10-20T12:43:00.000+10:00

Well, it's the first week of school gone by. Wandering keeps me sane in this place, I can assure you. With a lot of people I can rely on, it's not too bad either. I've been doing well with a lot of schoolwork as well, so that's good too.

Having arranged myself (nearly) for the formal, I've got my table sorted out and everything, all I'm nervous about now is how it will go. Wish me luck, wanderers!

*sigh* I've begun writing fanfiction again aswell, this time I'm writing a romance fic based on the cast of Ouran High School Host Club (ouran koukou hosuto-bu) and the cast of OtakuSiris.com (which is accessible from my link exchange). I really hope this will go well, I know a lot of Sirisian are fans of that anime, so it should go on well.

Keep wandering!

On The End Of Holidays, And Missing Songs

2006-10-15T09:16:00.000+10:00

I've been waiting for this day for a while now. I'm going back off to boarding school. Yes, it's a sad time. But also, I think two weeks was enough rest for that time, and then I go into exams. -______-

But, it's not all bad. I still get to see all my friends when I go back to school, and I've got more than enough to occupy me until then. So, that's that matter sorted.

I've also been looking for a particular song, by Jimmy Weckl, entitled 「万華鏡」(mangekyou - Kaleidoscope)... If anyone can tell me where I can get an mp3 of it, that would be excellent.

Keep wandering!

On Turning Back Time and Déjà Vu

2006-10-08T18:51:00.000+10:00

Well, I screwed up.

Mixing my real life with my e-life is definitely a no-go. Next time I get a friend who I only know over the internet, I'll be a completely detached person.

However, I have had seven occurrences of déjà vu this past week. Maybe a good sign, maybe another sign of my deteriorating lifestyle.

Added to that, I'm increasingly nervous about the upcoming formal, and added to the fact that I can only slow-dance. I hope it goes well.

Keep wandering!

On The Class Of 2006

2006-09-29T14:19:00.000+10:00

Today was the last day of Term Three. The last term for this year's Year 12.

A very emotional day, I thought I would have cried myself dry before midday today, but seeing the walk around the quadrangle ~ I was gone when our house captain walked past. Oh man. That was crazy.

But, it's probably my favourite day of the year. I love it.

Keep wandering!

On "Popular"

2006-09-28T11:09:00.000+10:00

What is popularity?

A question that has stumped me for a long while. I guess popularity is only in the eye of the beholder, or rather, in the eye of the subject. If they perceive themselves to be popular, then to them they're popular, and no-one can tell them otherwise.

However, there seems to be a global concensus that "popular" kids should attend at least 9 parties every 10 weeks, and they should enjoy drinking, have good sporting skills, etc. The classic example is the "oval folk", or "jock". I have nothing against jock mentality, however if they try and force their beliefs on me, as usual, I will begin to hate just that person.

So, in other worlds, I'm popular, because I wander, and I think. But, for now, I'll just have to keep into the shadows. Solace, I believe you call it.

Keep wandering!

On Relaxation

2006-09-26T18:05:00.000+10:00

Well, I have to say it. I'm kinda excited about wandering home for the holidays.

There's not much left to do in the term, and thankfully I don't have that much holiday work, so I'm looking forward to it. There's got to be something to do, and there is. I'm gonna learn how to drive!

What's worse than a raccoon with a car? A raccoon with a fox! That's right, I get to spend a lot more time with my good friend across the world, thanks to my holiday nocturnalism!

Keep wandering!

On Outcastism

2006-09-19T08:35:00.000+10:00

Wanderers are outcasts.
Those who advertise anime clubs are outcasts.
Those who want a second chance are outcasts.

It looks like I'm an outcast, but I'm proud to be one.
There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in my life at the moment, but I'll stay strong. The song "True North" inspired me a lot, and I might have to create something like that.

But otherwise, I'm still the same fur.

Of Singing At An All-Girls' School

2006-09-17T13:18:00.000+10:00

This afternoon, I'm going to be wandering to the girls' campus of Canberra Grammar School, where I'll be watching a concert, and singing in it. I'm excited the most about a piece called "True North". I can't exactly remember the lyrics, but they're something like that...

"Will the mountain prove to be my undoing?
Or will I take the prize?

I do not doubt myself. I am prepared to suffer.
Send pain, send snow, at thirty below,
Send frostbite, sickness, and I will endure.

No time to lose, there's no time to spare
Only time to climb, to focus and to climb

This is the chance to test my will
This is the chance to test my will (To test my will)

Show him the way
Give me strength, strength to the end
To fight, fight to the end
To push, push to the limit - my will
The edge of my resolve!

Aaaa.....

Utter fatigue...
But I'm on track...

Night looms and I must camp
Come morning I will know
If I must turn back...

Never!

(wind noises)

Steady now, it's safe inside the tent
Ready now, it's safe inside the tent
Light enough, to look outside the tent

Steady now...
Let me see...
If I have been blessed...

Aaaa....

My path is cloudless
My path is cloudless, is boundless
I am so nearly home
I will reach my goal

Did the mountain see me through?
Or did it show me my true north?"

I'm pretty sure some of that's wrong, but it's an awesome song. I'm so excited!
Anyhow, singing tenor in the school choir is quite fun. We're also doing the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah, and a Church Latin piece called Ave Verum Corpus.

That's my news from today. Keep wandering!

Of Missing Friends, And "Long Time No See"

2006-09-15T21:39:00.000+10:00

I realised that I hadn't been on my favourite website lately. OtakuSiris, a web forum. I have a fair few friends on there, but sadly my school IT department declaired it was too entertaining and thus blocked me from accessing it.

So, two weeks later, I went on MSN (which is only accessible on the weekends, no thanks to the aforementioned IT department). Few friends, it was all of "Long time no see." and stuff like that. Catching up with what was happening. Not much, apparently.

But, I've added a chatbox to the site, so viewers can (possibly) chat with other viewers, and me, and hopefully that will work.

Music-wise, I've wandered into new territory. First live improvisation gig, very soon. Sakako+Kenji.

Watch out for it, guys.

Lyrics In Rhetoric I

2006-09-13T08:35:00.000+10:00

When I was replying to a random email today, I thought I might think up a lyric for a song not in 4/4. Here it is.

"If there was ever a sin,
You could throw me into it --
-- like the reflection I am.

If there was ever a sin,
I'd join you gladly in it --
-- like the reflection I am.

I'm just a reflection of what everyone else sees
Thinking of nothing, not even me
But when the day is over and done,
I'll just lie here surrounded in reflections of years past.

If continuity was a sin,
I'd be sitting here in heaven --
-- like some kind of a piece of a puzzle.

If continuity was a sin,
I wouldn't be writing stories, just trying to fit in --
-- like some kind of a piece of a puzzle.

My life is a puzzle built from images and words
Meaning nothing, nothing at all
But when the night is through and through,
I'll be lying here surrounded in reflections of puzzles solved.

My life is a reflection of dots and lines
Fitting together is nothing to me
I stand out from the crowd, and when my life is over,
I'll be lying here surrounded...
Surrounded in light and love."

Interesting, huh?

Of Stories

2006-09-12T21:13:00.000+10:00

I'm writing a fair bit at the moment.

While wandering through a nice forest, I was intrigued to have the idea of a story featuring no girls. Strange? Sure, but it should be interesting.

However, I'm also writing a story about a group of two guys and a girl who go to the world of catpeople in the clouds. Should be good. I'm a romance writer.

I'm hopelessly lost at the moment, though. Creating a "blog" should help me to find my place in life at the moment. I'm stuck between a girl I loved and lost, and a girl I loved without seeing.

However, I'm still wandering as always. I want to thank everyone who's been there for me, and who've helped me with problems through the years. Mainly my good friends at otakusiris.com (which, coincidentally, has been blocked by my school's IT dept., along with nigh every single web-based MSNM/AIM!!), and that love I've never seen. Half-fox, half-cat.

Love? What is love? I don't know much anymore. Drawn too far down into structure with assignments. Damn.